Onesies
by winkeyface
Summary: A series of little... um... one-shot shorts, or something. 10 per chapter. Some Romy, Kiotr further on , Johnda hell yes! , LoRo, and MAYBE some Jott. I'll add more, if they're requested. : Working on Chapter 2


1- **Pyro's Lighter**

Remy ran from the psychotic Australian. Note to self… don't touch Pyro's lighter.

2- **Porn**

"No."

"Please?"

"No!"

"Pleeeeaaaase?"

"For the last time, Cajun, NO I will NOT watch your little porn movie!"

"It's not a porn movie! It's a classic!"

"It's rated R."

"For language!"

"IT'S GOT FOUR SEX SCENES!"

Everyone in the dining hall turned to stare at Rogue. She growled.

Remy ran.

3-** Stick it to the Man**

"Run, Rogue!"

"Ah _am _runnin'!"

"Yah call dat runnin'?"

Rogue tripped and almost fell on her face. Logan trailed close behind, claws out. She reached the place where Remy was on his motorcycle, grabbed the helmet he gave her, and jumped on. The engine roared.

"Bonsoir, Monsieur Claws!"

Logan's growl was lost in the bikes motor. He watched as the two drove away. Rogue was so dead.

4- **Too Sexy for My Shirt**

"Yah know it be true."

"I know yoah way too conceited fo' yoah own good."

"Say it."

"Put yoah shirt back on."

"Say it."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"DAMMIT, TELL ME THAT I'M SEXY!"

5- **Christmas**

Rogue turned to the man who had offered to walk her home. The snow fell into his auburn hair, and his eyes smoldered back at her, her own personal fire.

"Remy?" she said tentatively, looking down and wondering how she was going to do this.

"Yeah?"

She looked up and made eye contact with him again. He was smiling.

"Merry Christmas." And she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him.

6- **Mental Pictures**

"Ohhhh, Logan got luuuckyyyy!"

"Shut it, Gator Bait." Logan snapped back. He slammed his beer down on the countertop and glared at the Cajun sitting on the other side of the island… however, he couldn't help the tiny little smile that allowed the corner of his mouth to twitch.

"So… who's the lucky lady?"

At that moment, Storm walked in, looking extremely happy. She caught sight of Logan and ducked her head, quickly retrieving an orange from the fruit bowl and hurrying back out of the kitchen.

Remy noticed how she walked a little bit stiffly, and couldn't help but observe that Ororo's cheeks had gotten a little bit darker when she looked at Logan. Suddenly, it clicked.

Logan watched as the Swamp Rat's eyes grew as round as saucers and he fell backwards off his stool with a loud "AH! THE MENTAL PICTURES! MAKE 'EM STOP!"

The kitchen door opened and Rogue stuck her head in, eyebrows raised. "Everythin' okay in here?" she asked.

Then, when her eyes fell onto Gambit, she sighed. "What happened ta him this tahme?"

Logan looked at her over his shoulder. "Nothin', Stripes. You might want to call Hank though; I think he's going into shock."

7- **Bar Music and What it Inspires**

Wanda watched, wide-eyed, as John jumped onto the bar and started to sing along to the music.

Which happened to have a melody of, "BURN, BABY BURN!"

Yep. He was definitely going to have to die for this.

8- **Stick**

"As you know," Scott said in an authoritative voice, "We have been studying how to use the tools at hand to defend ourselves should we be rendered powerless. Today, we'll start with something simple: The Staff." He held out a long stick.

Remy bent down and whispered in Rogue's ear, "Hope he pulled dat out o' his ass from last time."

She giggled. "Not likely, Sugah."

9-** That's What She Said**

"Hey, Tabitha!" Roberto called from across the lunch table.

"What is it, Sunny?"

"Don't call me that. Did Kitty end up roping you into trying her pasta?"

"I'll call you what I please. And yes, unfortunately, I did."

"Poor you. How was it?"

Tabitha grimaced. "It was nasty. So mushy! Bleh! I can't believe I actually swallowed it."

Next to Roberto, Bobby and Sam looked at each other, at Roberto, and then at Tabitha.

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"

10- **Boobs or Lack There Of**

"I do too have boobs!"

"Nope. Sorry Kitty, but I'm gonna have to agree with Rogue on this one."

"Me too."

"If you've got boobs, then Bobby is a Bad Ass Mother Fucker."

"Tabitha!"

"What?"

"Language!"

"Oh, can it, Jean. You're just sad because you don't have any boobs either."

"I've got bigger ones than you do."

"Well, I've got bigger ones than Jubilee."

"How did _I_ get roped into this?"

"Ya walked into the room."

"Be quiet, Rogue. We can't all have D-cups."

"Ya wish ya could."

"…Shut up."

Suddenly, the door creaked open, causing Kitty, Tabitha, Jean, Rogue, Amara, and Jubilee to jump and look up. Bobby and Sam stood in the doorway silhouetted by light from the hall.

"Hey, guys. Can we join you?"

"We heard ya talkin' bout boobs…" Sam eyed Kitty. "…Or lack there of."

Pillows flew at them from everybody except Rogue.


End file.
